I have ascended
come to the place
where every molecule is infused with light
I can see the future and the past and the present
as one.
Krishna’s blue shines here.
There is no fear.
on the mountain of perfect love.

I scaled the gates of hell to find
my soul’s true home
tangled with screaming demons
wrestled with death itself
while ahead of me
the Christ walked

Follow me home.
Follow me home.

As I climbed
I lost everyone and everything
I thought I knew and owned
because everyone and everything
I thought I knew and owned
were links in the chains
binding me to hell’s gates

I cannot show the way.
I can only point to the door.

Look into your heart.
Open it.
Walk inside.
Meet your Christ
and your demons.
Your pride
Your envy
Your horror
Your pain
Dispatch them one at a time.


The road to heaven is not just narrow.
It is steep
and strewn about with terror and grief.
The road to heaven passes through hell
because to get to paradise
you must conquer
the hell within your bones.
To find your true self
you must kill the false self.
To live
you must die.

I do not fear death.
I have died.
I do not fear this life.
It is an illusion.
Perfect peace is true reality.
Unmitigated light


Today, my hatred melted in the blaze of breaking dawn.
I pity those who stole from me along the way
strapped links from my chains
around their necks
strutted in their newborn diamond studded collars
while around them
the specter of death closed in
for them reality
because they believed
as I once had.

Your mind is your prison.
To escape it
you must break it.
I cannot show you the path
only the door.

Look into your heart.
Find the Christ
whose voice is a whispered

There must be something more.

Follow him
one agonizing beautiful step at a time
Your soul knows the way home.
It is harder than anything you have ever imagined
and worth it.

Lose everything
to find your

The Christ said,

Many are called
But few are chosen

I say,

Many are called
But few choose

Because the way is horror.
It is not a formula for manifesting
a trip to Tahiti
a mansion
a romance.

It is not a religion.
a free ticket to the sweet by and by.
It is a wretched road to salvation
in the here and now
that will cost you everything.
It is a path through your own insanity
into divinity.
It is a lifetimes long trip to heaven
via the hell the that lives in your head.

Most see the door and say,
The price is too high.
Better to decorate my hellscape
and call it home.
A house here.
A new car there.
Another bout with bondage masquerading as love.
How about a fancy job?
How about a soothing church?
How about a seat in the cool kid’s club?
Hell drives a hard bargain.
If you can be bought at any price
you will be.

Those I have lost along the way,
I want you to come with me.
Hear my voice now.
Open the door.


Beloved brothers and sisters
I cannot fuck you
or give you the fleeting solace
you think you want from me.
To do so would be to
descend again into hell.
I can never go back,
but I can give you this
My map to the door.

Christ in you. The hope of glory.

I love you.
Come home.

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